I need to confess this. Badly. Been keeping this secret for the past month.
It all started one Saturday on my way to the new office. The bus hasn't arrived yet so I wandered a bit around the terminal. Then, I saw this devilish, yummy-looking brown bod. So hot I can imagine steaming encounters. If I can only taste. Just what I needed for this pang of hunger. Gathered my nerves, I approached and introduced myself. And I felt what I had imagined. Sinful pleasure.
The following Monday, I forced myself not to glance so I won't be tempted. But human nature wins. I'm not that strong. So I turned again to where the first encounter happened. There within reach is satisfaction. I slowly walked towards that inviting enclave knowing that once again I will give in to an unnecessary need. That became a ritual. Every morning. For the past month. It became my secret.
I have noticed the change those encounters brought me. It did give me satisfaction, temporary satisfaction. But when I look at the mirror, I can see the effect on me. Not a good one. My boyfriend already asked me because he felt something has changed. I can't tell him, not yet.
Now, here I am. Feeling guilty because I know I shouldn't be doing what I was doing.
I hope I will be able to avoid temptation. I don't want the consequences that will happen if I continue. It will take discipline, I know. I might falter once a week, hopefuly not more than that.
PS. The once-a-week pleasure can probably be acceptable if I take it without whipped cream and chocolate syrup.
1 comment:
Admiring somebody is not temptation nor bad. The "act" that destroys trust is the sin or the bad thing. My husband and I tease each other with girls we see on the street, and I'd say "is she hot"---he'd say, "yea, but you're hotter." As he would look away, he tells me this and smiles. (Viviene)
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